Strength Will Rise

"Patience is a virtue."

How many of us have heard that saying throughout our lives? And how many times have we actually liked hearing it at the time it was being said? I can confidently say never. But nonetheless, it is true.

The first test of patience I can recollect is the patience in waiting for Christmas. As a kid, it's probably one of the most brutal times of waiting in life. You know it's coming. You're counting down the days. All you can think about is the moment you're going to rip open all of your presents. Commercials on every channel advertising all the toys you want and hope you're going to be unwrapping on Christmas morning. And then there's the torturous moments when your mom walks through the door and tells you to go out into the other room so she can bring Christmas presents upstairs to hide. Seriously Mom?? So then you know that they're up there, hiding somewhere, just waiting and wanting to be discovered! As Christmas day draws closer and closer, you can feel yourself getting weaker and weaker with the anticipation. Some of us crack. Other kids had more discipline.

It's the same with any situation that requires patience. All you can think about is the thing you're waiting for.

Maybe you're counting down the days to a certain date. Maybe there is no date. Which sometimes, is almost worse because you don't know how long you're going to be waiting. But how many times throughout the Bible does God instruct us and ask us to wait? And not only to wait, but to wait patiently? But in those times, it's like waiting for Christmas morning all over again. We feel like it's never going to get here.

This past Sunday at church, we sang "Everlasting God." I've sang it a million times. The part that usually always gets me is when it says, "You do not faint, You won't grow weary." It always lifts my spirit. But this time, it was a different part that caught me...

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

Hold on...strength comes while we're waiting? Strength comes from waiting? Uhhh, when exactly does that take place? Because all that ever happens while I'm waiting is frustration and weakness. I've thought those kinds of things in the past. Just like a kid waiting for Christmas, I get more and more restless and impatient the longer I wait. And if the waiting is long enough, eventually I give up or give in to my temptations and "rip open my presents" before I'm supposed to. AKA, I go outside of God's timing. But then when Christmas morning comes, there are no surprises. You ruined part of the blessing and joy of the morning because you couldn't wait. In the same way, when we go outside of God's timing, we lose something. God commands us to wait because He knows that when we do, the end product is the best He can give.

It's in the waiting that the annointing comes. It's in the waiting that the blessing comes. It's in the waiting that the strength comes. It's in the waiting that God gives all He hopes for us to receive. We just have to change the perception of our hearts. We can't be like Adam and Eve; we can't look at the fruit and think that God is withholding something from us. That's not who He is. God is more interested in our character than our comfort. And most times, waiting on the Lord is uncomfortable. But if we trust Him, trust His timing, we acquire strength and annointing and blessings and all the good gifts He longs to give us. Yes, it's hard sometimes. Yes, we grow weary of waiting sometimes, especially in a world where everything is so instantaneous. But God never grows weary. His timing is perfect. As for me, I've run ahead before. I've grown impatient before. But luckily, He always takes things and turns them into good for His purposes. My character has been grown and matured through experience and through waiting and through giving in. And it is always continuing to grow. Through the refining of my character and through my experiences, I've learned that I'd rather wait for the blessing and the annointing than get second or third best as opposed to God's first and only best. I'm more interested in my character being a delight to the Lord than my comfort being a temporary feeling for me.

Thank You, Abba, for filling me with strength as I wait on You. It's all part of the adventure. :)



The Best Is Yet To Come...

Eryn vs. Esau

I was reading in Genesis 25 yesterday. It first talks about the death of Abraham. And then it goes onto the lineage of Abrahams sons, Ishmael and Isaac. When I got to the story of Isaac's sons, Jacob and Esau, it wasn't anything new. I've read it many times. But you know how the Lord works; He brings new things to light every time you read His word, especially when what you're reading slips right into everything else He's teaching you. I'm going to pick it up in verse 24, where Isaac's wife Rebekah gives birth.

 ²⁴ When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. ²⁵ The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. ²⁶ After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.

 ²⁷ The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. ²⁸ Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
 ²⁹ Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. ³⁰ He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!”
 ³¹ Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”
 ³² “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”
 ³³ But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
 ³⁴ Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
   So Esau despised his birthright.

First of all, let me tell you how big of a deal it was for Esau to give up his birthright. A birthright was an irreplaceable and priceless thing. It had everything to do with inheritance and authority. So for Esau to give it up was no small matter. He was giving up his life! And I'm reading it and I'm like, "Really Esau? Really? You gave up your frickin birthright for a bowl of stew?? Are you crazy?"

But then at church tonight, my pastor was speaking on the difference between seeing things through the filter of "Is it right or is it wrong" and "Is it wise or is it foolish?" Because so many things in our lives don't neatly fit into "right" or "wrong." It's not all black and white. There are many more grey areas than there are black or white areas. And so maybe we shouldn't be asking, "Is it right or wrong?" because too often, if something's not "wrong," than we declare that it must mean it's right. And that's just not true. Something's not being wrong does not make it right. Instead, we should be asking, "Is this wise or is this foolish?" And my pastor read this passage, and I found myself thinking again that Esau was crazy. But after having a conversation with a friend of mine, and after I thought about it more, I realized...how different am I really from Esau? How different are any of us from him? It's the principle of the matter, not the details. Esau's entire and ultimate future was in his birthright. But he gave it up to have an immediate satisfaction, and a fleshly and temporary one at that. He gave up his ultimate for his immediate. How many times a day do we do that? Sure, they might be small decisions here and there, but the road to destruction is paved with small choices here and there, foolish choices, that ultimately lead to devastation. And sure, it might look stupid to me that Esau gave up his birthright for a bowl of stew. But I'm sure someone looking at my old life might have said the same thing, regarding whatever it was that I exchanged. "Eryn gave up that for this? Stupid." I thought it myself. But we all have our own "bowl of stew." And because of Esau's foolish choice to satisfy himself for that immediate moment, his entire future was changed.

Hindsight is both beautiful and crappy. It's beautiful because you see things in different ways, and you learn. But it's crappy because you can't help but think...if only I knew back then...
I see and know every decision and choice I made and every step I took to lead me to where I ended up. I gave up many "ultimates" for my "immediates." And yes, destruction and consequences caught up with me. While the destruction sucked, it was also my Abba's saving grace. It has been the perfect picture of how God takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it into good, into redemption, into beauty and newness.

Back to Esau. Several chapters later, we get to see a glimpse into Esau's life as he and Jacob reunite. Esau is blessed. He has more than enough livestock and belongings for himself and his family. So even though years and years and years before, he gave up his birthright, God made Esau a new "ultimate". And it was good.

What choices are you making everyday? Right ones? Wrong ones? Wise ones? Foolish ones? What "ulitmates" are you giving up for your "immediates" that will one day catch up with you? We can change them now. And God can change the ones already made, into something new and beautiful if we only surrender to Him.


The Best Is Yet To Come...

I Am Perfect

When you hear the word perfect, what comes to your mind?

I think of something that is flawless or without defect. I think of someone who has no shortcomings, who never makes mistakes in thought or action. And of course, I think to myself, there is no thing or person who is perfect on this earth.

But then, that's only true if that was the definition of perfect.

According to Webster's 1828 dictionary, to be perfect means "to finish or complete so as to leave nothing wanting; to give to anything all that is requisite to its nature." Now, that's quite a difference if you ask me.

In the Bible, it says, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Now, if I read that scripture and think that it means to be perfect, I have to be flawless and without sin or mistake or shortcomings, I'll know in my heart that I'm incapable of that. But if I read it knowing what perfect actually means, it makes my heart beat differently. Because I know that if I try everyday to be flawless, I'll fall on my face every time. But if I'm working "to give all that is requisite to my nature," I believe I can do it because I know what is "requisite to my nature."

This past year, as some of you may know, I traveled the world on missions for eight months to eight different countries on a trip called The World Race. Explaining everything that God did in me and to me would be another blog entirely. But after all that has happened in my life with the Lord in recent months, I can look back and say with every fiber of my being that The World Race was only the beginning of the biggest journey of my life. When I first came back to America, the confusion and frustration was overwhelming. And since I was seeing everything through the filter of confusion, I looked at my trip as a mistake. I blamed it for all of the crap going on in my life. But oh, how wrong I was! I mentioned in the previous blog just a tiny bit of what the Lord did throughout last year, how He just broke me down until there was nothing left of me, and how He made me see that I haven't been living as the person He fully created me to be. I've been living out parts of who He made me to be, but no where near perfect. But the beginning of last year was the beginning of this journey He put me on to find the woman He intended me to be, the woman He created me to be! I've been realizing the weight of the place that I'm in with Him, and it blows my mind! I'm literally in the process of becoming the woman that He has had planned out since before time began! And He had to break off everything, everything, to be able to do that. I'm not sure how long this journey is going to be, but I do know that when I come out on the other side of it, I'm going to be a "fire and force to be reckoned with," as a friend of mine called out in me. And right now, in this very moment, I can say that I am perfect. Because I am giving all that is of me and my nature to the Lord and to the world. I am holding absolutely nothing back. And the Lord has been doing some big things in my heart recently because of my refusal for mediocrity and my denial of living for myself. I'm not trying to be arrogant and I'm not trying to brag. There's just been something growing inside of me that is disgusted with living my life for myself. I'm tired of just reading the Word and not doing everything it says, not just the things I like or are easy to do. I'm tired of going to church for the church's sake. Church is not about us. It's not about how much we can serve or how much we get from it or how good we feel from attending and serving. It's not about the cliques or our status there. It's about reaching out to the hurting people. It's about praying for and loving the "church sluts," and the

 "church outcasts." If I'm attending church or serving at the church just for me, I am missing it completely. I'm tired of living everyday wondering how I'm going to get to a place I want to get to, or how I'm going to acquire a position that I want, or how I'm going to make myself happy. Living in joy is the only way to live. And I only find joy when I'm living my life for bigger things. For God. For His people. For bringing Kingdom. For bringing justice. For bringing hope and healing and redemption and salvation and reconciliation to a lost and dying world. Not just for other countries. All of those things need to be brought to our nation too! To our own churches! I remember I wrote a blog while on the race that talked about how much I felt like my world was getting so much bigger. And back then was only the beginning! Now it's even more...bam! Isaiah 54:2 completely supports exactly where I am. It says:

Enlarge the place of your tent; stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes!



This is what I've been doing! These are some of the desires that the Lord has been putting in my heart. And so when I read it, it was like...whoa! Yes, Lord! I have been enlarging my heart. I have been stretching my world wide. I have not been holding back!

So in being perfect, I know that right now, I am living in perfection in regards to the second half of the definition. I am being everything and giving everything that is requisite to my nature. My nature is one of passion and fire and emotion and boldness and war and laughter and joy and dance and unconditional love and a refusal to shrink back. I am not of those who shrink back and are destroyed! And the first half of the definition, to "finish or complete so as to leave nothing wanting," I know I will reach that, even if it's not until the day I die. My Abba alone makes me perfect. No matter what anybody else says.

Man, it's so good to walk through life not caring how people see me and not caring what people say about me; living for God's approval alone. I know who I am. God knows who I am. The people that are supposed to be in my life are in my life because they know who I am too.

This journey is awe-some!

The Best Is Yet To Come...

Born to Soar

Throughout my life, as far back as I can remember, I've always been a striver. I was always striving for something. Whether it was a goal, a dream, a person, a status, a position, a victory or anything else somebody can strive for, I was always trying and trying. I've had to fight for almost every good thing in my life. Now, there is nothing wrong with ambition, and there is nothing wrong with trying and striving to attain something.

To a point.

And I always seemed to make my way past the point of no return. I always seemed to stumble from trying...into trying to control. And that's not okay. I would kill myself in every way to reach what I was striving for, and in the process, would beat myself up visciously for how weak I was, or for how I wasn't good enough or wasn't trying hard enough. If I only kept trying harder, surely I'd win. But it sure became exhausting. All of that trying and fighting and striving only to wear myself out. And so, I fell into a cycle.

 I would work and run and try and fight and strive until my lungs and legs and heart and mind gave out. Then I'd realize how wrong I was in my attempts, because I was focusing completely on I. So I'd reach the end of myself and finally see that the Lord was the only One who could help me, who could give me strength and victory. I'd stay under His wings and care for a time, but if things were moving too slowly or if things weren't going the way I thought they should be going, I'd start trying on my own again. It has truly been a sick cycle carousel, and I've wanted off for a long time now.

And I'm beyond ecstatic and joyful to say that I finally jumped off that crazy ride. With everything the Lord has been doing, there's just something different in all of His workings in the last few months. All year long, He's broken me down and broken me down and broken me down until there was nothing left of who I was. Until I had no idea who I was or who the hell I was supposed to be. The person I'd been living as my entire life was not the person He created me to be, and I had no idea who He wanted me to become. I realized near the end of the year that I was not who I thought I was. It's a crazy, scary identity crisis when you realize that this person you've been your entire life isn't the person you thought, and isn't the person you're going to be from now on. Once I reached that point, where there was nothing left of me, I figured I'd better start trying to figure me out! And so once again, I tried here and I tried there and I fought for...I wasn't even sure what for. I just knew that I didn't want to stay where I was. And after all of the wrestling, after all of the heartbreak, after all of the losses of friends and loved ones who couldn't actually dig into my pit with me, after all of the fears and doubts, after trying to control things, and after finally letting go of everything...I'm free.

I'm free!

I'm not worried about anything. I'm not trying for anything. I'm not striving for anything. Not even in my relationship with God am I striving. I'm just enjoying Him, delighting in Him and His love, and He's enjoying me and delighting in me. And Love is enough. Love takes the place of needing to try. Because it just is. I've been able to dance again, and worship again. I've gone to my secret place with my Beloved again after not seeing that place for so long. I was listening to a song by Jason Upton while worshipping, and it reminded me of a Word that God spoke to me over a year ago. The song says:

I was dreaming of the Holy City
I was wearing my wings

I looked up and saw the doorway to Heaven

And I heard You call to me

You said,

"Come up Here, come up now
My Beloved, My Beloved."And I said,

"I wanna fly, O Lord
Like an eagle in the sky
I wanna fly, O Lord

Through that doorway in the sky
Here I come, O Lord, here I come, O Lord!
In the midst of heartache, O God!
In the midst, of brokeness, O Lord!

Here I come, O Lord!

Here I come, O Lord!"
"You are My Beloved, you are My Beloved!"Do you hear the voice of God sing,
"You are My Beloved, you are My Beloved!
You are Mine, You are Mine and I AM yours!
You are My Beloved!My Beloved,

Don't let anyone, don't let anything hold you back
From your Father!" 

He is calling you

The part about flying like an eagle in the sky is the part that reminded me of the Word He gave me. I was on a hike with the Lord, and I had been hiking a few hours with Him. I decided to go off the trail and climbed this tall hill that I knew would come to a huge beautiful overlook at the top. I reached the top and just sat and looked out at it. Then out of no where, a huge bird flew across the sky. It looked too big for even a hawk. But I just watched it as it soared across the sky and valley. I smiled. He rode on the wind. He didn't flap his wings or work to stay up. And then God spoke, "That's what I want for you, Eryn. No toiling or beating the air to stay up. Just freely flying. Riding the wind. Enjoying it. It's what I always intended for you. To soar and fly and ride on My wind."

Well look at me, Abba! I'm soaring now!! All glory to You!

The Best Is Yet To Come...

The Epic Life

What makes a good story? What are the makings of the kind of adventure that enthralls our minds, touches our spirits and captivates our hearts? What is it about the epic stories we all love, that makes us love them? Stories like Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Gladiator, The Count of Monte Cristo and countless more, all leave us in awe, and give our souls the very things that they crave.
All of the factors that make a story epic, call out to us. They call to something deep within us, whispering of the greatness that we're missing out on in our own lives. But are we really missing out on an adventure, on an epic life? Or are we just looking with blinded eyes?

What makes a good story? Let's break it down. Number one: there is the protagonist. The hero. The good. Usually, they're not anyone special that would stand out in the crowd. They're just ordinary men and women...until they find themselves thrown into an adventure. Number two: if there's a protagonist, then there's an antagonist. The villian. The evil. They're always trying to steal or kill or destroy. So here we have good versus evil. There's no adventure without conflict, without our hero fighting for the good of something, for the betterment of mankind. Where would Frodo be without Mordor? Or Maximus without Caesar? Or Neo without The Smiths? There'd be no story. Adventure is not always fun and glory. That's only one side of it. The other side is the pain, the breaking, the unknown, the sacrifices. You can't desire to live an adventure without taking the whole package. When our hero goes through his trials and sacrifices, and when he faces his fears, we love him more. When he is faced with the unknown ahead while all he's ever known lies behind, but chooses to go on, we love him more. When he doesn't think he has what it takes and doesn't think he's brave enough or strong enough or smart enough, yet comes alive in the heart of the battle, we love him more. We see all the things he had to go through to reach his victory over evil. And good always triumphs over evil. There's pain, losses, gains, battles, victories, tears, joy, laughter, encounters with death and the overcoming of it. These are the things that steal our breath, melt our hearts and stir the adventure inside all of us.

Yes, there's adventure inside you. Did you know? Why else would these epic stories speak to us so loudly and deeply? It's because these stories call out to the very story waiting to be awakened in us. Don't you know of the adventure that waits for you? All that you are seeking is also seeking you. It has been waiting for you for a long time.

There's evil to be fought, prisoners to rescue, love to be found, victories to be had. This is the life Jesus has for us. It's the ultimate adventure, the true epic life. This world needs you. Will there be battles? Always. Will there be losses? Many. Will there be sacrifices? Everyday. Will there be unknown? Undoubtedly. You can't ask God to reveal what He chooses to keep hidden from you.Where's the adventure if you know what's around every bend? But will there be love? Absolutely. Will there be joy? Surely. Will there be life? Abundantly. Will there be victories? Endlessly. Because we all know....good always triumphs over evil. That's how a good story always ends. And Jesus only ever writes good stories. Do you have what it takes? More than enough. Just when you think you've given your all, when you think you've got nothing left, when you don't think you're brave enough or strong enough or smart enough...that's the moment you'll come alive and win. Just like our hero.

So what are you waiting for? Adventure waits for you. You don't have to go search for it. Adventure can be found right where you are. Answer the call. Answer the whisper. You were made to live the epic life. Go live it! Jesus is waiting. Life is waiting. Live the adventure.



The Best Is Yet To Come...

Copyright 2010 Eryn Lindsey