Doubting Thomas

"If you get to the Red Sea, and there's a boat waiting to take you across, where's God in that? But if you get to the shore, and there's no boat, watch God part the water."

It's interesting to me the way Jesus went about choosing his disciples. Being fully God and fully man, He knew what was in their hearts. He knew what kind of men they were, and what kind of men they were going to become. From Matthew the tax collector to Judas the betrayer, He knew exactly who He was choosing when He called them to follow Him. I like to think that Jesus called the twelve that He did because one day, He knew that someone would relate to at least one of them.

Usually, I relate to Peter very well. Impulsive. Overconfident. Pigheaded sometimes. A rock. A risk taker. He denied Jesus three times, even after he knew who He was. His confidence failed him, and the "rock" that Jesus said was going to be built upon, turned out to be a pile of sand. Oh yes, I fully relate to Peter. But lately, I find myself looking at Thomas.

People have dubbed him as Doubting Thomas. He didn't believe that Jesus had risen from the dead after the other disciples said that they had seen Him. Not only did he say that he wouldn't believe until he saw with his own eyes, but he took it further and said, "Unless I put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

I can't count the number of times that I've had trouble believing that God is with me or for me when my eyes fail to see His working. If He doesn't answer me, if He doesn't speak to me, if He doesn't let me feel His presence...my faith slowly starts to waiver.

I've been a child of Israel.

The children of Israel were enslaved to Egypt for years and years. They prayed and cried out to God to deliver them. He finally does. He brings them out of Egypt. They praise God and thank Him. But when they get to the Red Sea, and their eyes show them that there's no way to escape the Egyptians coming after them, they cry out, "It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" But then God parts the water, and they cross on dry land. Not only that, but after they get to the other side, the water crashes back onto the Egyptians and drowns them all. The Israelites praise God. Then they start to complain of thirst and hunger. All they see is desert. They say, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." So God rains down food from heaven for them, and busts open a rock to quench their thirst. And of course, since things are good, they praise God. I mean, I'm sitting there reading it and thinking, "You stupid Israelites! How can you complain after God delivered you from the hands of the Egyptians? How can you doubt Him after He parted the frickin' Red Sea right in front of you??" But as I think more, I realize that I have no place to rebuke them. Don't I do this? When things are hard, I doubt God's goodness and character? When things are good, I praise Him as the Almighty? God has delivered me from more things than I can even remember. He has redeemed me and purified me and loved me. Yet when things are difficult, and when all I can see is the desert, the waves, and the circumstance, how easily I forget what He's done for me. How quickly I forget that God has parted the waves for me too. It reminds me of what James says about a doubting man, being blown and tossed by the wind, and how he is unstable in all he does. But haven't we all done this? Haven't we all been there before in our walks? But I don't want this. I don't want to be a child of Israel. None of them got to enter into the promise land because of their doubt and disobedience.

As Jesus and His disciples were hanging out around the table during the last supper, Jesus starts to comfort them. He tells them that He's going to prepare a place for them so that they too can be with Him where He is. He tells them, "You know the way to the place where I am going." And good old Thomas says, "Lord, we don't know where you're going, so how can we know the way?" Oh yes, Thomas! I feel you! How often do I cry out to the Lord, "Jesus! What the hell are You doing with my life? Where are You going with this? Where are You taking me?" But Jesus responds, "I am the way and the truth and the life..." Oh yes...that's right. You're leading me. You're guiding me. So even though I can't see the road ahead, You can. And as long as I follow Your lead, I'll be ok. I'll find life. Life abundently.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

The Best Is Yet To Come...